On Asking For Help

In general, it takes a unique personality type to be a traveller—to embrace a life of constant discomfort and uncertainty, and more, to love it. It take someone who is flexible, open, curious, confident and independent…or, more accurately, it forces them to become each of those things and more. For me, one of my biggest problems is asking for help. I am ridiculously stubborn, and will go to any length to do something for myself, not only to prove that I can, but because admitting that I occasionally need to rely on another person for anything terrifies me (I’m sure you can tell how good I am at relationships). Yet while travelling, I have faced numerous occasions where it is absolutely necessary to ask for help, normally from complete strangers. Discovering how to ask—and accept—help has been a powerful lesson I am still in the process of learning. On one hand, there is the ever present knowledge that not everyone is able to help and occasionally people give the incorrect information, on the other, without a random person on the street directing me towards the correct bus stop or metro station, there are countless times I would never have found my way. Some of the most incredible conversations I have had even started with me asking for help finding something. 

On my current adventure studying abroad in Spain, I have realised how much travelling in the past has taught me about asking for help. I never noticed how important the manner in which one asks for help is until now. On my way here, one of my flights was delayed and I missed the subsequent connection to Barcelona. Stuck in Frankfurt, I went to the service desk and waited to talk to someone about getting on the next flight. Afterward, I ended up at a cafe sitting near a group of American students in the same situation. They were talking about how rude everyone was to them at the desk and around the airport in general, saying how glad they were that they were not studying in Germany and how terrible it was that everyone was “like, so totally mean”. I thought back to my own experience at the airport. The people I talked to at the desk were incredibly nice, as were everyone else I talked to at the airport. One worker even let me borrow her phone to call the program I was with so I could tell them I would be arriving late! Then I heard one of the girls ask an employee where the nearest bathroom and instantly realised the difference. It is, in many ways, purely cultural. In general, we ask for things like we expect to get them, as though it is that person’s job to give us whatever we want. The customer is always right. Yet, when you go to a different country and speak to natives in English, expecting them not only to know your language, but to do whatever you want, of course you are going to be met with a degree of asperity.

One of the most important parts of travelling may be learning to ask for help, but learning how to do so is just as important. I am now more aware more careful than ever not act like I am entitled to answers, and the incredible value of learning the basics--hello, please and thank you--in as many languages as possible. And that a smile goes a long way.